When a parent wants to fix a broken" son

 

A talk with a parent about a son who is (un)“broken”

Broken?  Because the kid is behind in reading and the dad wants to “fix” the boy and his teachers don’t know what to do

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Hey Steve,

A couple of days ago I had a sad experience right in my front yard. My neighbor is an older fellow with a younger son. He said he was having problems with his son in school and knowing that I have just retired from education asked me if I’d be willing to tutor young Alfonso. I’ve had over a thousand parent meetings in my life and I’ve seen the look in his face before. The furrowed brow along with the pained expression screamed, “Help!”

 

I know Alfonso. He’s a precocious six-year-old rising third grade neighborhood kid that is fluent in English and Spanish. He knows everyone in our neighborhood and is about as gregarious as they come. He likes to stop by and see what I’m up to when I’m working on my old cars in my garage. He’s a quick learner when it comes to tools and putting things back together. He’s one of those kids that asks questions. Lots of questions!  I taught gifted kids for thirty years and he totally fits the gifted kid profile. Back to the discussion with Alfonso’s dad…

 

We’re standing in my driveway on a gorgeous Wednesday morning under a Windex-colored sky and I asked what was wrong? Alfonso hates school and is behind most of his classmates in reading and math. Alfonso’s teachers had a parent conference and told his parents that with his considerable skills deficits he definitely needed summer school and they should consider finding a tutor as well.

 

I was shocked.

 

 

How can this bright child be doing so poorly in school and, forgive me Paul Harvey, what’s the rest of the story?

 

There’s something I’ve learned over my many years in the classroom: Never assume anything. I asked Alfonso’s dad if, just perhaps, there may be some misplaced fear here? Since 1936, with Jean Piaget’s Stages of Development, we have known that humans go through stages of cognitive development and that not all humans mature at the same rate. Alfonso has mastered the Preoperational stage and is easing into the Concrete Operational stage. The operative point being his maturation rate.

 

Piaget’s theory also explains that trying to teach children particularly advanced concepts to students that are not developmentally ready would be unsuccessful. Realizing in some cases, younger but developmentally more advanced children may be able to learn advanced ideas with the least instruction. Aren’t those the students most teachers use to pace their class?

I chuckled and told Alfonso’s dad he had nothing to worry about—he’ll be fine.

 

That wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted to FIX his unbroken child.

 

I asked him if Alfonso’s teachers had ever determined his learning style? Whether you lean toward Montessori, Vygotsky or Piaget they all agree that involving students in the learning process and modeling expected behavior is the foundation of any classroom.

 

Alfonso loves to talk and work with his hands. Howard Gardener proved that being sensitive to a child’s learning style is central to success for that child.

 

Apparently, I hit a nerve. Alfonso has a favorite class: Art. Next is Phys Ed. Then Science. The more movement and social interaction the better. He loves playing computer games but hates having to sit in front of a computer for multiple hours doing schoolwork.

 

One more dynamic: When talking to Alfonso it turns out he doesn’t like his teacher. At all. She’s mean and all the other kids know it!

 

So, there you have it. Underachieving third grader with concerned loving parents and teachers that aren’t meeting his educational needs.

 

Heck of a way to start a Wednesday. And BTW, I saw a Jackson on the 20 link below. In 1991, my class at Seminole went national with a campaign to remove Jackson and replace him with Frederick Douglass

--Y